How Do I Know If I Found The Right Therapist?
Let’s be honest, searching for any type of medical appointment can be stressful. Looking to start therapy is no different. You sifted through the endless maze of options on platforms like Psychology Today, Sondermind, and Headway. You sat on the phone for who knows how long with your insurance provider to see what your coverage looks like. It took a great deal of effort just to get scheduled…
Is finding a good match really THAT important?
The short answer is yes.
Whether you're searching for an LGBTQIA+ affirming therapist, a trauma-informed BIPOC therapist, or exploring ketamine-assisted therapy in Denver or across Colorado, finding the right fit matters.
What if I were to tell you that around 30% of your ability to change, heal, and grow depends directly on your relationship with your psychotherapist? Is this percentage high enough to get your attention?
Hold up, where the hell did you get the 30% statistic?
Numerous studies and meta-analyses have been conducted since the 1980s to gauge the efficacy of treatment outcomes with psychotherapists. A 2024 study examined client perspectives on session quality in conjunction with the working alliance between psychotherapist and client. The main finding from this study was that the relationship can either improve or diminish therapeutic goals and results.
Finding a psychotherapist is similar to trying on different pairs of shoes. Each psychotherapist comes with a different set of skills, lived experiences, and training background(s). Maybe you want someone who will challenge you. Maybe you are looking for someone who has similar lived experiences as you. Perhaps you prefer an individual who is more structured and works with specific mental health issues. The great thing about psychotherapy is that there are a plethora of individuals who will be happy to meet you where you are.
Okay, I get the importance of finding a good fit…
Are there specific signs I should be looking for?
Questions that may be helpful for you to reflect on prior to scheduling an appointment are:
What credentials do I want my clinician to have?
How do I know I am being heard by others?
What qualities do I look for in a person to know I feel safe around them?
Can I bring up concerns to this person without fear or worry of judgment?
What type of person feels most helpful to me right now? Do I need someone who listens
and validates? Do I need someone who challenges me?
Do I want a therapist who assigns homework between sessions?
Am I able to contact my psychotherapist if I am having a crisis?
There are three key points you should continually ponder:
1. Does my psychotherapist “get me”?
Questions you may ask yourself during sessions are:
“Am I being heard?”
“Do I feel seen?”
“Does my body give me any signs or cues to want to run away/hide/shrink/not talk?”
“Can I open up to this person?”
“Do I feel validated after discussing my life experiences?
“Am I comfortable enough around this person to discuss difficult topics?”
2. Are my boundaries and limits honored and respected?
Questions you may ask yourself during sessions are:
“Are my pronouns and gender identity honored?”
“ If I say I am not comfortable with the topic, will my psychotherapist take the directive and switch the conversation?”
“Do I feel pushed to discuss topics I am not ready for?”
“Is there reverence for my culture and cultural norms?”
3. Am I seeing progress/change?
Questions you may ask yourself during sessions are:
“Have I made any progress, even if it feels small?”5.4.26
“ Can I identify new things about myself prior to when I started psychotherapy?”
“Am I noticing any shifts in my behavior?”
“Do I have hope that things will continue to change?”
“Are loved ones noticing differences in me?”
Overall, my best recommendation for individuals seeking psychotherapy services is to trust your gut and schedule a free consultation with the clinician you are interested in. Typically, your body gives you some sort of sign that indicates you have found a good match, or you haven’t. It is okay to be selective with the individual you want to share hard stuff with. Just like a pair of shoes, you want to find a clinician who feels comfortable, practical, and reduces stress.
Finding the Right Fit in Denver and Beyond
If you're based in Denver or anywhere across Colorado, the good news is that online therapy has expanded access to specialized care. You're no longer limited to therapists within driving distance. Whether you're seeking teletherapy in Denver, a trauma-informed therapist who specializes in somatic work, or exploring treatments like ketamine therapy, you can now connect with clinicians who truly match your needs.
If you feel that I may be the right fit, you can request an appointment or book a consultation.
Be well :)
References:
Stefana, A., Fusar-Poli, P., Vieta, E., & Youngstrom, E. A. (2026, May 4). Patients’ perspective
on the therapeutic relationship and session quality: The central role of Alliance. Frontiers.
https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/psychology/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2024.1367516/full
Norcross, J. C. (2010). The therapeutic relationship. In B. L. Duncan, S. D. Miller, B. E.
Wampold, & M. A. Hubble (Eds.), The heart and soul of change: Delivering what works in
therapy (2nd ed., pp. 113–141). American Psychological Association. https://psycnet.apa.org/doi/10.1037/12075-004
